Wednesday, June 15, 2011

AT ONE YEAR


Last month I cut off all communication with my beloved husband Bruce. It is something I had been putting off for over a year – and it has been a year this month since I moved across the country to start my new life.

I just knew it was finally time to let go completely. So that was it.

I had my phone number cancelled, forever. I no longer write him letters. I removed my ring.

I moved on.

I have not seen him in a year. I have not lived with him in 2 ½ years.

Celibacy sucks. Whatever.

There comes a time, no matter how much love either party feels, when you realize that life must go on without that person, because he is not present anyway, and will not be for many, many years, if then.

Love conquers all. Right?

Right?

No, it does not. It does not fix anything. It does not solve life’s woes. It does not change the corruption of the powers that be, who have the power to destroy everything you’ve worked for. Love does not make it all better.

Love does not see one through, even though it exists, and is felt deeply, and is present in the heart and mind. Love does not bring him home. Only a miracle could do that, and my faith for such things long went by the wayside.

Betrayal by the universe? Perhaps.
Betrayal by the self for not listening sooner? Probably.

But honestly, if ever there were a heaven, it would look like my heart now feels.

I am happy, truly happy. I have the greatest kids in the world. I have a good job and wonderful co-workers, a new home, the best of friends and family, and am liked and even loved by them.

I live in beautiful Washington State, where the flowers and trees, grass and water, moss and ferns, waterfalls and mountains, ocean and animals, and other natural delights, fill my eyes and feed my soul.

My friend recently told me, “Sharon, where did you come from? You just swept into here like you belonged and have quickly rooted yourself, gained everything you set out to do, and have done it with ease, grace, and success. You are amazing.”

How can I top that?

With more plans… and there are many.

I choose to invest in my family, in myself, in my future, in love, in the heaven on earth, which I have found here… and make it grow.




6 comments:

  1. SOOOOOO, SORRRRRRY< for what you have gone through.... Sharon,

    From the day, We Very first Met You, at Fred & Jeannie's wedding,
    We KNEW You Were:... and Are: An Amazing Woman.

    To be able to preform your first wedding, with such grace and ideals, and Romance ~ in spite of what you were going through... WOW !!!!

    I Totally Agree: with what your friend said, about you, (above)
    You Belong at the lake where we will and have already accepted you ... and LOVE YOU, and Your Family ~ just as you are !!!

    We Are: Happy & Proud to call you ~ Our Friend !!!
    (If You Ever - Need Anything and We Can Help ~ In Any Way...
    Just let me/us Know !!)
    ~~ You Got It !!

    SIncerely, Marianne & Todd.

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  2. Special thanks to you guys... you are so sweet with a huge heart! I had an amazing dream before I moved up here that I knew would plant me in a place where the land and water met. The Lake and - as Kira put it recently - the "Lake People" (my friends, who are now family) are where I am supposed to be and who I am supposed to be among. When it all comes together like this it is beautiful and can't help but feel right. Love you all!!!

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  3. Sharon, You Are Very Welcome !!

    ((((((((((( BIG HUGS))))))))))
    Todd & Marianne

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  4. This is where the focal character, after having overcome a seemingly endless stream of insurmountable hurdles, each more threatening than the last, finds herself right back where she started, only now she has new information. The moral to this story? Good things come to people who are good people. You are good people.

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  5. Sharon: When I met you and not having a clue as to what was going on in your life (now I have just a clue), I am convinced that we met for a very good reason. As Marianne pointed out, you handled our wedding with grace and ideals, romance; I believe that is part of your persona...to be who you are in spite of how the world can (attempt to)spin you into confusion. As Jeannie & I watched the video of the ceremony, we knew we made the right choice in asking you to officiate. If by the grace of God, there is some healing in your life as you continue to see beauty in spite of your pain (we see it), then WE are the blessed ones as a result. Keep on keepin on!

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  6. @Phil, you are good people too... what a blessed friend and an amazing writing teacher you are. Sometimes, despite the losses in life, there is still a happy ending. Thank you for being such a big part of that. :)

    @Fred, I am so grateful you and Jeannie chose me to officiate your wedding. It was such a wonderful experience to do that for you two. Thank you also for your kind words, which we all can always count on. :) Can I watch that video?

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