Last month I cut off all communication with my beloved husband Bruce. It is something I had been putting off for over a year – and it has been a year this month since I moved across the country to start my new life.
I just knew it was finally time to let go completely. So that was it.
I had my phone number cancelled, forever. I no longer write him letters. I removed my ring.
I moved on.
I have not seen him in a year. I have not lived with him in 2 ½ years.
Celibacy sucks. Whatever.
There comes a time, no matter how much love either party feels, when you realize that life must go on without that person, because he is not present anyway, and will not be for many, many years, if then.
Love conquers all. Right?
No, it does not. It does not fix anything. It does not solve life’s woes. It does not change the corruption of the powers that be, who have the power to destroy everything you’ve worked for. Love does not make it all better.
Love does not see one through, even though it exists, and is felt deeply, and is present in the heart and mind. Love does not bring him home. Only a miracle could do that, and my faith for such things long went by the wayside.
Betrayal by the universe? Perhaps.
Betrayal by the self for not listening sooner? Probably.
But honestly, if ever there were a heaven, it would look like my heart now feels.
I am happy, truly happy. I have the greatest kids in the world. I have a good job and wonderful co-workers, a new home, the best of friends and family, and am liked and even loved by them.
I live in beautiful Washington State, where the flowers and trees, grass and water, moss and ferns, waterfalls and mountains, ocean and animals, and other natural delights, fill my eyes and feed my soul.
My friend recently told me, “Sharon, where did you come from? You just swept into here like you belonged and have quickly rooted yourself, gained everything you set out to do, and have done it with ease, grace, and success. You are amazing.”
How can I top that?
With more plans… and there are many.
I choose to invest in my family, in myself, in my future, in love, in the heaven on earth, which I have found here… and make it grow.