My friend, you say that loving others is easy, and a deep commitment for you, but that loving yourself is the life lesson you still need to learn. To love someone so deeply that you fear losing them, so that you withhold yourself from them, is a common reaction. I used to be this way, To. A. Tee.
I must say it is a dark road, and all it wound up having me do was to withdraw to the point that if I couldn't feel as loved as I needed/required, then I would wind up letting go of the relationship. I have been married multiple times because my love was far more intense, and yet I was the one who pulled away first. Be careful of this.
It wasn't until my last husband whom—having a similar personality to mine—loved me deeply, yet life's circumstances kept us apart, and we had a tragedy in our lives, so deep and disturbing that I could not bare who I saw myself as being in that circumstance (I was highly suicidal and self-loathing was profound).
What I learned is that I had to, unfortunately, lose proximity to that man who loved me as no other had, and distance myself from everything that the circumstances reminded me of, in order to heal. Self-love has been coming since then (especially this year), and I now know my worth, my value, with or without someone who cares or sees me for the real me. It matters not if they know.
I KNOW. That is all that matters.
It is unlikely anyone could ever truly know every deep particle of my soul, just as you cannot be known (by *most* others) as deeply as you know yourself... but you CAN love yourself, every part, every piece, in the most holistic way you are able. By doing so you will be more forgiving, and accepting, and yes, it will improve your ability to love others, even though you already know how.
I find myself having a vast amount of peace and joy in my life, despite that my life is still recuperating from the issues of the past. I am now in a wonderful relationship with a man (also with a similar personality as mine) whom brings to me the most amazing and genuine love, with a gentleness and acceptance that exceeds my most amazing dreams. Yet we are still human, both of us, and so we just go forward, one day at a time, and love sincerely.
I think that letting go of expectations has helped tremendously... just enjoying life, and your significant other, and what you share (rather than worrying about what you lack). It's a matter of what you focus on, my dear friend; you are worthy of being loved, and yes, loving the self is the key to realizing that who you are is so much more, and needs to be so much less, than how you view yourself at this insignificant moment in time.
Years from now, you will see this more clearly. It is very hard for me to explain.
Just BREATHE, relax, and enjoy!!!
Loving yourself should be that easy.