Saturday, January 28, 2012
THE HANDWRITING ANALYSIS
Tara looked at Gordon’s handwriting and winced. Distance, she thought, he keeps people at a distance. Her thoughts rambled as much as her mouth usually did, but this time she looked quietly, carefully. She studied not the words, but the strokes of his pen, the width between the words, the depth and pressure and angle of his letters, sentences, and words. She paid attention to how he dotted his “i’s” and the details of his “t” crossings.
Tara knew that handwriting analysis was a science, and was even used by professionals in a court of law to analyze criminal behavior, but for her it was a serious hobby, and even one she used when in investigative mode, or when interviewing people. She knew enough to be able to read when people had issues, or not, and even things they kept secret from the rest of the world, such as their sexual drive and habits, if they had health problems in a certain area of their body, if they were selfish, generous, close-minded, had self-deception, or even if they were compulsive liars.
Tara studied Gordon’s “y” and “g” strokes, contemplating his sexual drive. Yes, he had a healthy drive and knows what he likes. She smiled, especially considering they had been dating long distance, but had not yet been physically intimate. She anticipated no problems in the bedroom.
Emotional, but not exceedingly so… very direct… great imagination… he’s protective, and perhaps even a touch too trusting. Tara considered the latter, especially since the distance he kept from people was obvious in the writing sample Gordon had just prepared for her. Perhaps it is a protection mechanism, rather than being aloof?
“I cry at the drop of a hat,” he finally spoke, peering over her shoulder in sheer curiosity, “does that show up there?”
Tara did not look up, although her eyes darted around the unlined paper, scanning over the letters, paying attention to his loops, and the downhill-to-uphill sentences. “Courage,” she finally said aloud, “you have great courage in the face of adversity.” She suddenly got a glimpse of both his distancing, as well as his sensitivity. “You feel down sometimes, and get discouraged, but ultimately you pull yourself out of it,” she told him. Luckily his “d’s” did not show too much sensitivity to criticism. She knew he would not blow up or get defensive if she told him something negative.
Gordon looked at her, noticing her long brown hair, soft cheeks, and blue eyes as she studied his handwriting. He admired her ability to see sides of him that he normally kept hidden, and for some reason he trusted her more than most people.
Tara felt his eyes upon her and glanced up for the first time, smiled warmly, and leaned over to kiss him. He responded in kind; their lips met, touching ever so softly. She noticed Gordon’s eyes were the same color as her own, and that they sparkled when he looked at her. She adored his sweet, handsome face and full, supple lips. Her heart melted as he placed his arms around her from behind.
Sighing deeply, Tara then turned again back to the paper in her hands, trying not to think about her emotional state since she knew she still had stars in her eyes, much like how she felt when she was a school girl with a crush on a boy. Yet here they were, adults in their 40’s, starting fresh with each other after having split up from their separate long-term relationships a year or so prior. They hadn’t known each other quite a full month yet, but she was ready for this relationship. She looked for evidence that he might be ready too, or that he might not be, whatever tale the handwriting would tell her as it stared back up at her from the paper. The seriousness returned to her face.
Gordon readjusted his position, waiting to hear what she might say next.
Tara spoke, “What happened to you that you keep people so far away?” Gordon did not expect a question so intrusive.
“I don’t know…” he shuffled his weight. “Perhaps it has to do with when my dad died. It affected me pretty severely.”
“Tell me about that.”
“What is there to tell? I was very close to him, and he suffered for many years before he left us. When he was gone, it devastated me, but that was a long time ago now.”
Tara noticed his eyes welling up with tears. He had just told her that he cried easily, and for the first time she was witnessing it. Gordon rubbed his face, wiping away the tears, and choked back his emotions, “I’m sorry…”
“No need to be sorry; it’s not your fault. I didn’t mean to make you dredge up the past like that…” yet she knew she had indeed asked a question that required a deep answer. She suddenly regretted that she had asked it to begin with. Handwriting analysis was often an emotionally charged process, especially when you begin seeing parts of peoples’ souls. She realized he was a very sensitive man, and that the distance he kept people at was a form of protection for himself, to keep him from getting hurt too easily. She did not want to be the source of such pain.
Gordon gathered himself, and then she told him all of the details about him that she had seen in his handwriting, trying to keep it more positive. He was fascinated by it all.
They talked at length about their lives apart, and how they were now enjoying each other’s company so much. The spoke about their hopes, and dreams, and even what their favorite foods were, old pets they had in the past, and even memories from their childhoods.
As the hours passed, their intimacy grew, and they found themselves lying on the couch together, embraced in intertwined arms, face to face, kissing, holding, and gently caressing each other.
“I love being with you Gordon,” Tara expressed herself directly. He looked at her and paused, then he said, “Are we an item?” She smiled nonchalantly and replied, “Of course we are a couple…” but he didn’t say anything and just stared at her for a few moments. She asked, “Don’t you think so?” but her words had already evoked a response in him she didn’t expect. He began crying softly, finally letting it out.
“I didn’t realize just how much being a couple meant to you until this moment,” Tara said as she kissed his tears, tasting them upon her lips.
Tara considered, and then whispered, “You asked me something earlier today…”
“Yes?” Gordon swallowed hard.
“You asked if I could see in your handwriting whether or not you cried at the drop of a hat.” Tara took a moment to form her words, but decided to just be blunt. “I did not see that one coming. I mean, I would have never guessed it before today, and I did not see it in what you wrote either.”
She realized that sometimes handwriting analysis was not enough to tell everything about a person. Sometimes simple human interaction was a far better indicator of the nature of the heart’s greatest desires, as well as a person’s needs. She knew he needed her. She also knew she needed him back.
Tara held Gordon for a good long time until he sighed deeply. “I love you Gordon,” she said to him. “I love you too, Tara.”
She placed her head on his chest, near the crook of his arm, which made him feel like a man again. He wrapped his strong arms around her, holding her tightly. They held each other for the longest time, completely in their own bliss.
The paper with the handwriting sample that laid on the coffee table by the couch, went unnoticed.