Friday, July 6, 2012

LOOSE STRINGS IN THE TAPESTRY OF LIFE

Ever see yourself in the actions of others?

It seems like the universe brings to the forefront clusters of patterns, which unravel their strings before your very eyes, taking with it apart the tapestry that once formed its beauty. Can such things be carefully woven back together once unraveled? Can relationships that go awry be fixed?

I will not name names, and I will not claim to foresee the future, but all at once today three events from three separate relationships came into my hands to deal with today, and all at the same time! I played counselor and mediator, as well as discoverer. I sometimes wish someone were there to play those roles for me. But these things come to me, so here I am, observing, analyzing them, and finding out what the patterns will mean, ultimately, for those involved. Then I write about them, and hope that my words will be a blessing to someone out there, somewhere.

Tapestries are intricate things, woven in a beautiful and rich mix of colors and patterns to form a single material that is useful and wonderful to behold. One string, pulled out of the side, can cause a lot of problems. It is like a hitch, a string that catches and pulls out and begins the unraveling of the fabric. It hurts the pattern, and is has to carefully be dealt with.

The string can be:

cut off (nipped in the bud)
tied off (tying the knot and cutting off the excess string makes it stronger)
woven back in (fixed, which takes great effort to do it correctly)
ignored (which will bring up the same issues later at great risk to the solidity of tapestry), or
it may be pulled out (potentially unraveling the entire tapestry to its doom)

The choices are many, but what is the pattern? Let’s explore…

Scenario one:

A man, a woman, in love. New love. Fresh love. One is fiercely loyal and emotional, and attaches easily. The other more conservative and practical, taking care of what needs to be done for now. Both with mutual feelings of attraction. The practical one sees obstacles from daily life responsibilities, and thinks that things should move slowly, and accordingly. The emotional one is ready to move forward, doing whatever it takes to be with the one they love, but because it is slower than they are ready for, they take it as rejection, so in turn reject the object of their affection… the heart of the person who loves them. Neither understanding what hit them, it falls apart before their eyes. Both are hurt. Both may have been hurt in the end anyway, but who is to say? They will never know.

What happened? The string was pulled and unraveled a bit, and then cut off. Nipped in the bud. The tapestry goes on as if it never happened. But the heartstrings know… and will feel it for a little while. The tapestry will not ever be quite the same again.

Scenario two:

Two friends, of many years. Lots of history between them. Others are also involved in plans for a business opportunity and personal venture. The one, again, is emotional and full on. The other, has responsibilities that will take some time to deal with, but plans to be involved in time. Something said that was misunderstood, or read into, and the emotional one takes it wrong and thinks the other one is rejecting their ideas, and the plans, so they kick them out of the plans altogether. Reactionary refusal and rejection back towards the one who simply needs more time. It appears to be falling apart, but perhaps with time, and their long-time mutual friendship, there is hope to repair it. Both are hurt, and neither knows fully why, but ultimately both want the same thing.

What happened? It appears to have been cut off, but no… the string was partly pulled out, but not unraveled fully yet. There is hope, but in order to repair it, it will take effort and time to be woven back in to fix it, if both parties want it enough. Ignoring it will not fix it and entropy will ensue towards its own unraveling. This will take effort by both parties in order to repair the tapestry. A simple decision to work on it together will suffice. The emotional one will have to quit pulling the loose string any further to its own detriment.

Scenario three:

Two lovers who have been together for a while. Plenty of affection and mutual love and goals. Again, the same pattern that the emotional one wants more, sooner, and more intensely than the one who is more distant and afraid to make plans for fear of it not working out… the latter needs time and other things to happen first. The emotional one wishes to tie the string and cut off the excess, but the slower moving individual does not want to tie it yet, or to unravel the tapestry, but is also unwilling to cut it off either. They would rather ignore the string that is causing the issue, and the emotional one sees their inaction as rejection.

What happened? Nothing. The string is being ignored. The loose string will stick out and cause the same problem to show up down the road, until it is either cut off, or tied and the excess cut off, or it unravels.

The Pattern:

The tendency in this pattern of three scenarios is for the emotional one to pull the string harder, starting the unraveling process (out of anger/reaction), and then either ignore it or cut it off. If unraveled too far it will be too late to tie it off later, because the tapestry will already be ruined.

In this last scenario, the emotional one has not yet chosen what to do, so no damage has yet been done. The string sits there, hanging loosely, like chaos waiting to happen. This person does not like loose ends.

The slower-moving individual has chosen to ignore the string… immobility produces stagnation, something the emotionally intense person fears will lead to eventual unraveling on its own due to entropy or an accident.

The tendency for all three of the emotional ones above is to react violently, hastily, and with fear and anger. This is the lesson of the universe bringing this pattern to the forefront today; to learn from it.

The three scenarios… One was done. One was fixable. One was pending.

All three had one slower-moving person causing the loose string hang-up, and one emotional person impatiently pulling at it and causing more damage.

All three may wind up with different results in the end, depending on their choices.

In the end the emotional person in the third scenario made a choice; a choice that was not on the list of options.

They chose to patch the loose thread by supporting it with a temporary bow, tied in gently to hold it from unraveling, and allow time for the other person to figure out what they ultimately want done with it.

This simple alteration is an expression of following out of love rather than leading out of fear. It is proactive instead of reactionary. It is an action of trust in another. Tying a bow in a loose string of someone’s soul is one of submission to a greater vision, and an indication of patience in the short term.

It is a symbolic gesture of recognizing that some tapestries are worthwhile, even if the only effort is to wait for the other person to do their part, when they are ready and are able.

It is the loving thing to do.

If the other person does not come around, in time, then it can always be untied and unraveled or cut off later. If they do, then it can be rewoven or tied up and any unnecessary string cut off, if need be.

Tying a bow is not ignoring the string either, but taking care of it in a thoughtful way until the time is ripe for dealing with it. Tapestries are not one single life’s thread running in and out of itself (that is simply bland one-colored material)… they are dependent upon the weaving of multiple threads, and waiting could create a whole new pattern altogether, one more beautiful than the last!

Nothing in life is easy. All great tapestries take work and huge amounts of time to create them. In the end, if worked on with wisdom and mutual effort, and a vision of what they want it to look like in the end, the tapestry of our lives become beautiful creations together. All peoples’ lives, whether as friends, or lovers, or business partners, or acquaintances, etc. weave together in intricate and magnificent ways. Some are random, and some are more purposeful. All are worthwhile.

It is a shame to waste something so potentially awesome! It is the many different colors and styles and thickness and qualities that make up the designs that run against each other, in parallel, or weave together back and forth to make the picture we finally see in the end.

Human beings are the threads…

Our lives are how we touch each other…

What we choose to do is what makes the pattern…

We can either follow an old pattern, or create a new one…

As for me, I would choose to tie a bow for someone rather than unravel it.

I would choose love over fear.

It is never too late to re-choose a new way or start reweaving, too.

What do you choose?

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