Sunday, March 10, 2013

CONTROL OVER MY BODY

Georgette sat completely alone in a room full of people, swept her bangs from her eyes with her right hand, and spoke out only in her mind, “Robert, what is happening to me? What did you do to me? Please help me understand… I can’t control it, for you have ripped yourself a path into my soul and taken over my body and brought it to rapturous delight.”

Georgette was sitting among friends at the party, yet thinking about the fight she and Robert had earlier that week. She pulled off her delicate white sandals and put them next to her chair, then slid her bare feet into the hot bubbling water for part of a pedicure. Why she didn’t listen to his advice in business matters, and how upset she made him, was all she could focus on. And now something strange was happening to her body… down below… and it was awakening her red basal chakra of love, sex, passion, and survival. It was raw. Lustful. Powerful. Reactive. It was instinctual.

Georgette thought she got sexually excited before when Robert would climb over top of her, but now… wow! There’s something about how thoughts of him seized her mind, causing her to feel his commanding presence, his strength, and how it turned her on. “But this is why I got quite a display of myself tonight at the party!” she thought as she shifted her weight in her chair, allowing the vibration on her feet to ensue. She hoped no one had noticed her discomfort in realizing that no pedicure could come close to the effect Robert had on her.

Her conversation to her Robert-who-wasn’t-there continued in her thoughts as she desperately tried to figure out what had happened to her. She ran the conversation over again in her mind. “I think it had to do with how you withdrew and then pushed me away, making me leave the house that first time a week ago. After picking up my clothes and belongings off the porch where you threw them, I ran to my friend’s house to be consoled but just couldn’t sleep all night. Not a wink. Most all of the next day I was awake; I only got to nap for one hour. Thank God that you let me come home that evening to sleep in your arms. To hold me again…”

Georgette knew she just couldn’t take the rejection the second time. “When you threw me out again two days later, I just packed everything up and left, as you know. I gave up because I thought you had given up on me. You told me to go away a second time, after you promised you wouldn’t do it again, and it hurt me deeply. I thought you broke up with me for good this time because you never break promises. I didn’t feel the punishment fit the crime. I realized that you still weren’t totally over what brought it on the first time. I should have stayed away and given you more time.” She wanted to blame him for her inner pain, but also realized it was a fruitless endeavor in real life. Robert would not put up with that kind of behavior from her anyway.

Her energy became contrite, especially when she had found out he hadn’t abandoned her at all, let alone forever. He had merely needed space. Georgette knew he now had this power over her… over her mind and over her body. Just thinking about Robert made her so incredibly hot! Her body was still aching for him like a cat in heat. It happened just minutes before, right there in the party room at the lodge with a dozen or more other women lingering, chatting, and painting each others’ fingernails.

Georgette had asked Robert for forgiveness and he had given it, absolutely. “I completely forgive you sweetie,” were his words. She cherished them. She cherished him. “Thank you so much for loving me. I simply cannot take your love and attention for granted,” she thought, smiling once again. She knew she had caused him to push her away, but then he had also pulled her back. She lost him, yet he found her.

And that is when his power elevated up and over her… it towered and hovered over Georgette’s body like a thick, heavy reliable blanket that wrapped her up safe and secure, strong and proud, warm and soft. That is when she found a new respect for Robert, and became so grateful for his love! People were sitting and mulling all around Georgette in the room, but none of them knew she was somewhere else, enveloped by his essence.

That’s how it happened, she realized. It was her alone time without Robert that made her devotion grow. It was the anxiety of their separation that drew her back into line; back under his wing, where he wanted her. He wanted one thing, and she was the only one who could give it to him. She remembered his frustration when he yelled, “No one ever listens to me! Not my family, not my friends, not even my girlfriend! Why won’t anyone listen to me?” She suddenly understood his problem. He needed to feel important, heard, obeyed. If he was not worthy in everyone’s eyes, then at least he was in hers. She was determined that he would never again feel pushed aside, or like what he said didn’t matter. She had ignored his advice previously and it had taken its toll, on both of them.

It was this act, this decision, which had both pulled them apart, and brought them back together. Georgette thought of this ability she had to give Robert back his own power… not just power in general, but specifically, his power over her. After all, she had handed it to him and then snatched it right out of his hands through her insolence! She knew it was how he could reject her so fully and then snap her back to him, not once, but twice! He had kicked her out of the house two times that week because she didn’t listen. He would not have it any more. It was like she had cut off his penis, or cracked his balls between her thighs, she figured.

She could not dishonor him again in that way. His all-out rejection of her was like the instant rush of riding down the steep track on a roller coaster… she fell fast and hard. She thought… One moment you’re up at the top, and the next you’re shooting like a bullet down to the very bottom, when suddenly you’re jerked up to the top again with full gravity upon you, pulling down on your facial muscles and pushing your ass down into the seat. All you can do is hold on for life! Two full hills of this, and I was done for.

The fall is important, for it feeds the climb. But most important is the climb back up to happiness, she thought. “My dear man, like the roller coaster, it is as if your very will over me is the gravity that I feel pushing me down hard, while the momentum of your words and actions pull me up from underneath, so that both forces work against each other to propel me from normalcy, to complete overflow as the intensity shoves any common emotions out of the way, like a river continually pushing a waterfall over the edge… yet this river of emotions climbs uphill! It is channeled like a wellspring of clear water that is overflowing from out of the rocks in the cold earth, issuing forth to daylight. And once it surfaces, and settles into a pool, and I look for my reflection, all I can see is you.”

Georgette pulled her feet out from the warm water and dried them off with a towel. She did not want a full pedicure. Grabbing up her white sandals, but not putting them on, she walked over to the leather loveseat, pulled her feet up onto the cushion, and cuddled up one of the large striped pillows into her arms. She positioned her head forward, allowing her chin to rest on the pillow’s plush surface.

There she was. Sitting by herself on the emotional roller coaster that Robert put her on, despite the fact that she was actually surrounded by a hoard of happy-go-lucky females wearing sarongs and flip flops. She looked around. Mud masks on women’s faces encompassed her, drying like goggles of green paint around their eyes, on their noses, cheeks, and chin and foreheads. Other women were having their feet in bath salts in the vibrating foot massage water tubs, taking their turn after her.

The room smelled of chocolate-covered strawberries, chewy chocolate chip chocolate brownies and cookies set out on large round white plates on the long table. Fresh veggies and spinach-artichoke dip were present to go with the crackers and bread. Pink party ribbons were strung out along the ceiling, with fake fanciful dragonflies and butterflies hanging in the lodge windows. A single vase full of a dozen white roses with pink tips echoed like a whisper of love and all things beautiful.

Aglow around the dimmed room were candles galore. Soft jazz music playing in the background as two ladies sitting on the dark brown leather sofa across from her both smiled and simultaneously took a sip out of their wine glasses. A blazing fire warmed the room, visible through the glass-front on the woodstove at the other end of the large room. Women were heartily laughing and talking, some temporarily wearing wax on their hands, and others smoothing lotion on each other’s feet. The sun had gone down already, and only the moonlight reflected on the lake, which was visible outside the huge picture windows that lined the east side of the room.

There Georgette sat. Instantly becoming aware that as thoughts of Robert rose in her mind, her vagina also swelled up tightly. What had he done to her by rejecting her so violently, when all he wanted was for her to do what no one else would do? Listen. Her remorse overwhelmed her. She fully felt his raw roller coaster of power thrusting her into that moment of ecstasy despite these ladies’ presence in the room, these friends of hers who barely noticed she was living inside her head. For a moment, she also forgot they existed. Only Robert was on her mind.

Perhaps it was his winning smile, or his kind heart, or his unwavering willingness to forgive even if he lost his temper and had trouble containing his grief and disappointment in Georgette. Am I harder on myself than you were on me? she wondered. She knew he was truly her grace. He always accepted her, and showed concern for her, even after she had written him off. Even after she had ignored him for two days and vowed not to see him again unless he came back crawling on his hands and knees. But he simply cared, and nothing more, or less. His usual chipper “Good morning sugarplum!” message to her each morning rang out a cheer to her heart, and Georgette could not stay away. She could not will herself to ignore her sweet Robert a minute longer. Her thoughts were so loud she almost verbalized it publicly, “Am I going mad? And here I thought you were the one who needed counseling for your emotional instability!”

Georgette was drawn out of her protective rejection-shell as if she were blood pouring from an open wound, spilling out her life to the ground, crying for forgiveness even though she thought Robert was the one who needed to apologize. What good was she to stand her ground and not give in when she was the one being negative, and he was merely concerned for her safety? Yes, he was the strong one. The one with the iron will. She felt like a child, vulnerable, weak, fearful, undisciplined, and immature. But she would have to prove herself stronger next time… or else! She had to do it for him. She had to do it for herself.

Suddenly Georgette had a full-blown vision of Robert, naked before her, and he was facing her. His body, upright and solid, pressed forward toward hers. Robert’s bare masculine shoulders made her breathe him in deeply, while his chest touched her naked breasts gently, oh so gently. He seemed so statuesque before her! His arms opened and wrapped themselves around her, his hands grasping tightly to her arse, pulling her to him with a refined and confident grip, which made her ovaries pulse and her vagina quiver. She started to whimper verbally, giving in to his intentions…

“Shut up and take it!” She knew he meant it. Her breath fluttered as her eyes grew wide and her body submitted. Raw power emanated from Robert’s presence, entering her like a spirit entering an empty body that was expectantly awaiting its return. She felt his groin swell alongside her own; his rod pushed against her abdomen. Robert lowered his member down between Georgette’s legs, adjusting his body to match her height, and she began feeling his shaft rubbing rhythmically against her swollen, hungry pearl. It was then that he kissed her, deep and passionately. She waited expectantly for him to enter her…

Georgette instantly felt wet! Deep, penetrating wetness took hold of her body and the flood gates were opened! Robert affected her body in ways that she had not experienced before, yet he was nowhere to be seen except in the fantasy of her mind’s eye. He controlled her emotions and her body from a distance, via an image of his presence, fastened like a video playing continually on the screen of her mind. His virtual presence so obviously etching a permanent image into her soul and heart. She was bound to him, and he was not letting her go. Nor did she want him to. Georgette felt safe… even better, she felt lubricious!

She looked up suddenly upon hearing someone laugh. Thank God they are not laughing at me! No one was looking Georgette’s way, so she stood, taking notice that she was dripping in her own slime. The wetness between her legs was like an opaque rain during a squall, kicking up thirty-foot high waves on the ocean shore in the most humid part of an already steaming-hot summer. Georgette made her quick exit to the bathroom, covering her body with her gold-and-red-threaded sarong and keeping her legs together so the storm would not land its evidence on the lodge floor.

She wiped her highly viscous and slick juices with several huge wads of toilet paper before she felt dry enough to return to the women’s spa party. Georgette had to keep Robert off of her mind or else she was going to lose all of her usual rebellion to him… yet that is what she desired most of all; to obey him without arguing or causing consternation. It was almost all gone now. How could she fight with him? He wasn’t even physically present in the room, and wasn’t even talking to her or in her face, yet he still had dominance over her, via her own mind. The mere thought of his penis was like experiencing a spice worm that bore its length into her innermost being, bringing her to ecstasy.

Like a fish to a fisherman, she was obviously hooked. A willing victim to his short-term whims, his decisions for their future, and his continual influence in her life. Robert’s sweet spirit was like food for her, and she consumed and ate him up! She relished that she was subject to his will over her… that she could trust his judgment and know that he would not for a second put up with her crap, nor would he let her go that easily. He was there to keep her accountable, because he loved her. His punishment was strong and swift and effective. Robert’s affections were tender and compassionate, yet his authority like a monolith that stood alone before her, ready to enter her with sweet aggression again and again… deep from behind, forcefully from the front, and ever so gently and lovingly, filling her up from within when she needed it most.

Sometimes Georgette really did need a good hard fuck! And Robert was the man to do it.

She loved it! She loved her man. Never before had anyone had this kind of power over her. Never before had anyone programmed her very soul to create this level of control over her. All she wanted to do was to please him. To make him proud of her again. To hear him call her his girl. To listen to him sing to her, to do what he advises, and to feel him snuggle up with her at night.

The party with all the women in the room was great, but it didn’t compare to the party Georgette was having within the walls of her own mind because of uncompromising thoughts of her very own Robert.

He would decide when she came, when she would go… and she would happily do his bidding…

“You truly do have control over me… my mind… over my body.”

She would not only allow it, but so would he; neither of them would have it any other way.

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