Tuesday, April 12, 2016
HOW TO GET A WIFE AS A LONG-TERM BACHELOR
This is from a woman's perspective... so take it or leave it, but it's based on my life's experience and witnessing as well as experiencing things with bachelors and childless couples. Bachelors who have never been married before actually have less success for getting married the older they get. There are exceptions, which I will cover below...
Sometimes guys catch up and finally come around. Men who are bachelors for 40+ years really don't have a clue what it is like to be married--they just have ideas in their head, but those ideas may not be reality. Or these men might be scared of responsibility. Or a host of other things. But even if they buck, or get cold feet at the altar, or get married and then instantly regret it, they generally come around once they realize everything is going to be okay. Having a life partner is generally a good thing. It's just probably not what you expect, because bachelors have had a lifetime to build up concepts of what they THINK marriage is, but having never experienced it, they really stand void of what that really means.
The only times I have ever seen exceptions to this is if a male bachelor has lived with a partner long term, and/or raised children, or participates in these behaviors fairly regularly. Having a family, or taking care of others and living with others in a participatory manner, sharing bills and responsibilities, having arguments about little things and knowing that's OK, and other facts of life, gives a person experience and builds tolerance. People not exposed to these things (including couples who never have children, or live by themselves) tend to get pickier and less tolerant of others, and of situations, as they get older, which as time progresses, actually reduces their chances of ever getting married or having a family.
Pray, manifest it, do the exact opposite of everything you've been doing, go on nice dates at nice places instead of trying to pick women up at bars, do whatever it takes to make it happen if you want a wife. But do not do what you've been doing if it's not working for you. I suppose that's common sense, but sometimes guys (and gals) don't change their habits and wonder why something is still not working for them.
Biggest hindrances to getting married to a wife:
1. Online pursuit - get out there and talk to people in person, even if you meet someone online, you can't live in a virtual world forever, so you'll still have to buck up and put on some big boy pants and get the hell out of the house. Get a hobby even... one that involves having social circles.
2. Living with the parents - get a place of your own. Unless you live in a city, or there's a special temporary circumstance, a woman is not going to want to be that close to her future mother-in-law. Don't count on living with your girlfriend either. Be a man, show some responsibility... get your own place. If it's too expensive, do a search for the cheapest cities in the country, move there, get a job, educate yourself, make a life and a career, and make your future wife proud. With any luck she'll have a place and you two can rent one out and have passive income off of one of the homes to lessen the financial load.
3. Porn - face it guys... your expectations will NEVER be met if your focus is on a virtual world of sex that is not based in reality. I seriously doubt any good woman will approve, either. Get over yourself and start realizing that a man who masturbates long enough (I'm talking years upon years here) starts having trouble "doing it" when the real thing is in front of him. It could be in the way of becoming desensitized emotionally or physically or mentally or even spiritually, or else being disappointed that a real curvy woman with a muff does not look like the anorexic porn star that is all shaven like a little girl.
4. Your expectations are too high - this is the big one!!! I've heard guys say SO MANY TIMES that they don't want this kind of woman, or a lady of a particular race, or someone who is too skinny or too fat, or that has a certain kind of job, or that is of a certain personality type or IQ. Yes, we can have preferences, but too many starts limiting the options for any serious dating, and being too picky actually reduces the chances for finding happiness or settling down. What are your priorities? Write them down. Are they what really counts or are they shallow? Are they keeping you from enjoying someone long enough to really get to know them before you go to bed with them? is there a foundation of friendship before the marriage? A fast and furious marriage often winds up in a fast and furious divorce. Take the time to invest in a person, and if it's mutual, you just might have a winner! Realize it's supposed to be a win-win two-way deal. :)
Good luck and hope this helps! I wrote this for a friend of mine... you know who you are. ;) As for my husband, he was a bachelor of over 40 when we got married too, so I think I know what I'm talking about... and no, not all of these applied to him at all, but expectations did, and online pursuit (how we met) did, and he overcame them both, so you can too!