Tuesday, September 13, 2016
THE BIRTHDAY CARD DIVORCE
She was reading the book Blink, about how in the blink of an eye people can know things about others. Sometimes it is that easy—to just know something—and sometimes people take the hard road. She realized that she had invested her love into a man without reading the signs… or else the signs had changed, because she couldn’t bring herself to open his birthday card to her.
Just days earlier, on his birthday, she had gotten him a birthday card first, and written a nice blessing inside for him. But his anger over something petty was so fierce that he let his temper rule over any love between them, and he tore her card in half.
She couldn't sleep that night, as he was in the living room and refused to be by her side, even though the argument was trivial. She prayed to God, and asked for Him to show her what was going to happen to their relationship, to their marriage. She prayed for wisdom and insight, and for a sign.
She quietly laid there, getting ready to pray, but first she wanted to make amends with him, to show him she loved him… to do an act of good will towards him, for there is nothing she would not do for him.
So she went and pulled that broken card out of the trash, and noticed it had not been removed from the envelope, so had not yet been read. If only he could see the contents and know how she feel about him! Surely he would soften and find forgiveness and love inside his heart for her. She quietly took the dismembered card to the bathroom and mended it while he slept. She taped the card together front and back, making sure with great care that the torn edges were matched at their raveled seams, and then taped the envelope front and back as well. She gently put the birthday card inside the envelope once again and placed it by the mirror so he would see it, and open it, and read it, and be blessed and know that she adored him.
She went back to bed, and prayed. After praying a special prayer she laid there quietly, listening to the first thing that came to mind. The answer to her prayer and symbol of good will was surely to come. She was sure God would tell her what to expect regarding their marriage and relationship.
She prayed the special prayer no less than 20 times....
Then she laid still, hopeful and wondering, listening…
She immediately heard her husband get up from his bed, walk into the bathroom, and…. he ripped up the card again, unseen. Unread, it was demolished again.
She burst into tears because that card represented her heart, her love for him, and it had been rejected, destroyed. She knew he would do the same thing to their marriage. It was clear. It was done.
In that moment she knew that their marriage would not last, because being angry was more important to him than being forgiving. Being contentious was more important than getting along. Destroying what they had, and the love that was freely given to him was more important than nurturing it and being grateful for what he has, she realized.
The proof, in her mind, that their relationship would end (in eventual divorce) was answered in that prayer, in the very moment of silence immediately after she had prayed it and was listening for God to answer. He did. He did answer it, but through the free will and choice He gives her husband to make the decision about what he wanted or didn't want in his life. She figured he makes that choice every moment of every day, and in every way in how he chose to treat her, his own wife. She should have known in a blink, rather than going to all this trouble to figure it out.
So that is why she never opened his birthday card to her… because he never opened hers. She was not resentful or revengeful enough to tear up his card, nor to even throw it away. It just sat there, unopened. She decided it would remain until he threw it away.
One day he would choose another woman again and rip her heart in two and would leave her for that woman, or for some dream that the grass is greener on the other side, woman or not. He would separate and date others, and divorce her, and maybe remarry or have the children she was unable to give him.
The day he would leave her would be that secondary rip to her card/heart, and the prayer would have come to pass, but he would never see her accept his love again after that. Once he would do this, any love he would give her after that would be refused just as she had refused to open his card.
The day he leaves her would be the last day he was to have access to that love.
She knew it was solely his choice.
It always was.