Tuesday, January 24, 2017

MY SON DIED

Oh the pain of knowing that I will never hug or talk to or see my 21-year old son Jeremiah ever again in this life! He committed suicide yesterday morning, January 23, 2017 between 1:00-1:30AM MST at the Sunset parking area of A mountain on the NMSU campus where he attended school in Las Cruces, New Mexico. He was working plus going to college, and was starting his last semester before earning his Bachelor's degree in Philosophy. He over thought everything, like I do. He said the stress from everything was too much. He was so close to the degree and was still making A's and was an Honors student. Everyone loved Jeremiah. He wanted to teach. He had that sparkle in his eyes, that life and warm love that everyone felt. What a fantastic man and new husband he was! Oh, how I grieve his passing! He hated being alone at night when his wife was at work... insomnia and thoughts about reality and guilt or whatever else seemed louder, he told me when I saw him 3 months ago. He wrote a note to his wife yesterday morning, in the night. Then he drove to the mountain and shot himself in the head... his head exploded, just like he said it felt like. Oh My God, my sweet and precious son Jeremy! My shining star! I am so sorry that you felt this badly... that the anti-anxiety medication you just started on 3 days before didn't work. Was there a reaction? Or contraindications? You had always talked about stress and anxiety, but never suicide. Never. I'm so sorry. I wish I had known more, paid closer attention. I miss you so much. Never again will I have that chance to help you. I didn't even get to say I love you one last time, but I know you always knew it. I don't know what else to say... I'm so sorry my son. I love you so much.

No comments:

Post a Comment